If you like horses, puns and jokes, then this one is for you. These fun horse puns jokes will become the mane in your prank box. Whether you’re going on a horseback riding adventure or gifting something to your horse-loving friends, these fun horse prank puns will make everyone laugh.

Well, keep your horse because you’re about to have a wild ride. Don’t blame us if your throat is a little hoarse from laughing. If you’re interested in more than just horse puns jokes, check out our best dog puns, cat puns, or bat puns that are sure to make you chuckle.

Don’t waste your time anymore, let’s get started!

Horse Puns Jokes for Instagram Captions


It’s not surprise that horses remain one of the coolest animal in the world. They’re just such a awesome combination of power and beauty. However, in addition of the strong appearance, those long face and big teeth can led to some good belly laughts, too. In need of a funny caption for a horse photo? Take a look at our favorite horse puns jokes below. We’ve gathered the best list of horse puns, jokes and Instagram captions that are sure to make some laughs.

  • Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup
  • It’s pasture bedtime.  
  • My, my how the stables have turned
  • Quit trying to stirrup trouble
  • Stop horsing around. 
  • Cud you go on a date with me? 
  • You’re always the centaur of attention. 
  • Don’t do anything foal-ish
  • The colt never bothered me anyway
  • Maybe she’s barn with it… Maybe it’s neighbelline.
  • Oh, hay there
  • How colt is that?
  • Don’t be afraid to make a foal of yourself.  
  • Get off your high horse. 
  • To be or not to be. That’s the equestrian
  • I herd you wanted my number. 
  • You’re my better hoof.  
  • It’s all about stable thinking and the ability to say nay
  • Watch me whip, watch me neigh neigh
  • Time we layed all our cards on the stable
  • Why the long face? 
  • Don’t give me the colt shoulder
  • Just got paid? It’s nice to be financially stable.
  • Get ready for the mane event
  • It’s time for the mane event. 
  • A crazy little thing colt love
  • Watch me whip…
  • Watch me neigh, neigh.  
  • Fieldin’ good and lookin fine
  • Horse puns, yay or neigh?
  • You’re my mane man. 
  • Scratchy throat? You sound a little hoarse.
  • May the horse be with you
  • I can’t help being a spur of the moment type of person. 
  • He’s not sick, he’s just a little horse

Horse Racing Puns For Instagram

These horse puns captions use clever wordplay to combine horse racing terminology with playful humor. They are perfect for adding a touch of fun and whimsy to your Instagram posts related to horse racing. Whether you’re an avid horse racing fan or just enjoy a good pun, these Instagram captions are sure to earn you some likes and laughs.

  • Time to saddle up and race to the finish line!
  • Stable relationships are important, but I’d rather be at the track
  • Jockeying for position and racing towards the weekend!
  • Don’t be a neigh-sayer, bet on the winning horse
  • Off to the races with my mane squeeze!
  • Time to saddle up and race to the finish line! #horseracing #punintended
  • Stable relationships are important, but I’d rather be at the track
  • “Jockeying for position and racing towards the weekend! #humpday #horseracing”
  • “Don’t be a neigh-sayer, bet on the winning horse
  • “Off to the races with my mane squeeze!

Horse Puns Jokes That Will Make You Whinny

horse puns

What’s better than a list of hilarious horse puns jokes? Just like so many other members of the animal kingdom, there are numerous jokes for us about horses. In fact, you can tell very good horse jokes and puns. These braised meats are sure to make you chuckle or perhaps just cringe. Either way, you and your friends will love them. 

  • My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. I guess we should name him Neigh-palm!
  • I have a half-horse friend, he always needs to be the centaur of attention
  • A horse walked into a restaurant, and before he could order, the waiter said, “Hey”, so the horse replied, “Yes, please”.
  • My neighbor has a horse who always neighs loudly at night. She’s a night-mare to live with!
  • Jockeys are often considered to be clouds as they hold the reins!
  • Just before the race, the young horse was extremely charged up as it ate a little bit of haywire!
  • I read a novel that had the story of a runaway horse. It was such a bad tale of ‘whoa’.
  • Our neighbor has a horse named Mayo, and well, Mayo neighs a lot.
  • I bought a horse at the spur of the moment. It was a bad decision, and now I am saddled with tons and tons of responsibilities!
  • Horses are avid readers of books by J.K. Rowling. Their favorite book is Harry Trotter and Hoofblood Prince.
  • A horse that has a negative attitude in life can always be seen saying “Neigh”.
  • I saw my brother riding uncomfortably on a tall horse. I told him to get off his high horse!
  • After visiting the bathroom, the winged horse used the pegaflushes!
  • A couple of horses decided to form a band called ‘The Foals’. They have quite a colt following!
  • Before the much-anticipated race, my jockey was very anxious. So I told him not to be impatient and hold on to his horses!
  • The stallion was an avid adventurer and has visited many places across the world. He surely is a globe-trotter!
  • My friend is half horse… And always the centaur of attention.
  • The farm owner has a couple of horses and a huge sum of money in his bank. He is definitely financially stable!
  • My brother woke up late and was running late for work, so I told him to hoof it!
  • A little horse borrowed some money from his big brother and couldn’t pay him back for quite a while. So, one day his brother became impatient and told him, “pony up!”
  • A lion decided to become a horse. So decided to name himself Stal-lion!

Punny Horse Jokes Straight from the Horse’s Mouth!


Here’re some hilarious horse puns and jokes that will knock you off the high horse and have you rolling on the ground laughing. Well, that’s pretty enough horsing around – it’s time to get your head around the bountiful bag of all these horse puns jokes.

  • What is a horses favorite type of wine? Chardon-hay
  • What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. 
  • Which opinion poll do horses put most faith in? Gallup.
  • Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bad stable manners.
  • Where do horses sleep on their wedding night? In the bridle suite.
  • How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong? A bit filly.
  • Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding? It got colt feet!
  • What’s a horse’s favorite bread? Thoroughbred.
  • How was the horse after the accident? In a stable condition.
  • Why are we going so slow? Just need a little more horsepower.
  • What did the mother horse say to her foals? Don’t forget to clear the stable! 
  • Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!
  • Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horse-pital
  • How can I help my possessed horse? With an ex-horse-ist. 
  • Which seats do horses book at the theatre? Anywhere in the stalls.
  • What computers do horses like? Macintosh.
  • What did the waiter say to the horse? I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable
  • Would you like some ketchup? And mayo-neighs?
  • What’s a horse that loves to travel? A globe trotter. 
  • Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bad stable manners
  • Why do cowboys like to ride horses? Because they’re too heavy to carry
  • What type of horses only go out at night? Night-mares.
  • What does a racehorse like to eat? Fast food. 
  • What do you call a mentally balanced horse? Stable. 
  • What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee? Neigh buzz
  • Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.
  • What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? A mechanic.
  • Have you heard about the runaway horse? It’s a tale of WHOA!
  • When does a horse talk? Whinney wants to!
  • What did the mare say to its foal? “Hay, pasture bedtime!”
  • Who were the two best horse thieves in the world? Bonnie and Clydesdale!

Well, now you’ve finished reading these cool horse puns jokes and started having fun, vote for the puns that interest you. Also, share this article with your friends or anyone who loves horse.

Source: Collector

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